I think a lot of us fall into a routine without even realizing it.
You wake up, go to work, come home, and spend your evenings running kids to whatever sport they’re in at the time. Most days, you’re just passing each other in the hallway before starting it all over again the next day.
Then one day, it changes. The kids are gone, the routine disappears, and suddenly it feels like you almost need to reintroduce yourself to your spouse. For the last 18+ years, everything had revolved around the kids—and somewhere along the way, you put yourselves on the back burner.
On top of that, you start to notice other things. A little extra weight. Less energy. And if you’re being honest, not much effort is put into changing it.
That may not be everyone’s story—but for Katie and me, that’s exactly where we found ourselves.
About two years ago, near the end of summer, we were wrapping up a week-and-a-half RV trip. It started in wine country in Dundee, Oregon, then over to Lincoln City, and finally up to Long Beach, Washington.
During that entire trip, there wasn’t a single conversation about golf. Not even a mention of it.
We were staying at Andersen’s Oceanside RV Park in Long Beach when Katie said, completely out of nowhere, “I think I want to play golf.”
There was no lead-up to it. No conversation before. It just came out of the blue.
Honestly, I was a little caught off guard. Golf had never really been our thing.
I did have a set of Golden Bear clubs that I bought for myself over 20 years ago—maybe used 8–10 times total, and that might be generous. I vaguely remember buying them at Costco, bringing them home, and Katie being upset for two reasons: first, because I didn’t really play golf, and second, because she asked, “Where’s my set?”
So, in what I still consider solid logic, I kept my clubs and bought her a cheap set so I wouldn’t have to return mine. It worked. I kept my clubs.
I think we went to a driving range once after that, and that was it. Her clubs—and mine—sat in the garage collecting dust for the next 20 years.
So yeah, hearing her say she wanted to play again was a bit of a shock.
We found a small course nearby—Surfside Golf Course in Ocean Park—rented a couple sets of clubs and decided to start with a bucket of balls at the driving range before heading out. As you can imagine, it was a complete mess.
After chunking our way through ball after ball—and then somehow making it through the first couple fairways—I remember thinking, this will probably put an end to this golf idea real quick.
But after a lot of laughs, and probably more swearing than we’d admit, we finished up and headed back to the trailer. I asked her what she thought.
To my surprise, she said she had a great time—and that she wanted to keep going. She even mentioned maybe taking lessons.
That was the moment I realized this wasn’t just a one-time thing.
What I didn’t realize at the time was how much it would turn into. Not just more time and money spent on something that can be equal parts fun and frustrating—but something that would push us to get outside more, travel together, and reconnect in a way we hadn’t in years.
It gave us a reason to start planning things again—finding new courses, taking trips, and even lining things up with Seattle Mariners games in different ballparks along the way.
And for me personally, it became the starting point of something I had been putting off for a long time—taking my health seriously and beginning a weight loss journey that was long overdue.
That day at the beach didn’t just start golf for us. It started a shift in how we were living.
And without even knowing it at the time, that was the beginning of Brian and Katie’s story… and the moment bkbackninelife was born—our way of doing the back nine of life a little differently.
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